


Castles Made of Sand

by ExpressAndAdmirable



Series: The Heroes of Light [44]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types, Final Fantasy I
Genre: Angst and Romance, Backstory, Bards Being Bards, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Sex Work, Tiefling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 10:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13269951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExpressAndAdmirable/pseuds/ExpressAndAdmirable
Summary: Aviva falls in love with a girl she works with, but her addiction proves their undoing. Contains: hard drug use, grief.





	Castles Made of Sand

**Author's Note:**

> Response to the “ ♖: Having their hair washed by the other ” prompt from Morgan's player, taken from [this prompt list](https://expressandadmirable.tumblr.com/post/164709227549/nonsexual-acts-of-intimacy-select-from-the). I can tell I was binge watching 'Carnivale' when writing this piece because Bess is based pretty closely on my favourite character Lila.

“Heh-hey, now it’s a party! We got the devil in the house!”

Lux grinned and rolled her eyes as she made her way to the back of the bar, her heart quietly leaping at the chorus of cheery greetings from the workers. “Here to turn your sins into symphonies, Bess.”

The older Human laughed and spread her shawl wide, displaying the curvaceous, corseted merchandise. “Then write me an opera, sweet thing, ‘cause we got enough sin to sing ‘em to heaven and back.” She leaned against the bar as Lux settled into her regular seat. “They got you back here again, hm?”

“Best gig in town,” Lux answered, pulling her bouzouki onto her lap. “Pay’s shit, but they give me food and a room for the night, and I get to see all your beautiful faces.”

Bess chuckled again, reaching forward to ruffle the Tiefling’s hair. “I keep telling you, darlin’, you should come work for me. I get asked about you every time you’re here, and it breaks my heart to tell ‘em you’re not on the market. I can promise you’d make more money swingin’ that tail of yours than whatever management is paying you.”

Lux regarded her with a wry smile. “But then who will accompany all your songbirds? I can hear them from all the way down here, and gods know they wouldn’t stay in tune without me. Especially you.” She reclined in her chair as Bess snorted with laughter, gesturing to the instrument in her lap. “I’m afraid I’m set in my ways, Bess. You’ve got your whoring, I’ve got mine. But the offer is, as always, appreciated.”

“Suit yourself, sweet thing.” Bess shrugged, but her eyes sparkled. “You know there’s always a place for you here.”

“I know.” Lux smiled as Bess moved off, ready to open the doors for the evening’s business. Fitting that the place she felt most accepted, most at home, was a low-end brothel in the wrong part of town. The camaraderie of the undesireables. She lit her cigarette and tuned her strings.

* * *

With a growl and the scrape of wood, someone deposited themselves heavily into a chair at Lux’s side. “For fuck’s sake!”

Careful to keep her place in the music, Lux tilted her head in the direction of her new companion. “Rough night?”

“Fabulous,” the girl responded dryly. “Fucking client tried to pull a fast one on me, wanted some shit we did _not_ negotiate. Tried to get the upstairs guard involved but he’s not worth half a damn. Bess had to throw the guy out herself. What’s the point of a guard if he doesn’t fucking _guard?_ ” The young Human growled again, running one hand through her dark hair and scratching at the shaved side of her scalp with the other.

“Sounds about standard for the guards here, unfortunately. Most of the people management hires are next to useless, so Bess handles everything.” Lux lifted an eyebrow. “You new?”

The girl nodded. “Few weeks in.”

“Then welcome to the Gargoyle, the finest dive in town. Ownership is rubbish, but Bess takes care of her people.”

“Yeah,” the girl agreed with a sigh, “she does seem to.” She turned to face Lux more directly. She looked tired. “You’re Lux, right?” She realised the silliness of the question. “I guess you have to be, you’re the only Tiefling here. The others–” With a furtive peek around the bar, she lowered her voice. “The others said you’re safe?”

“I’m safe,” Lux confirmed with a smile. “The only thing management hears from me is music.” She watched the girl sigh in relief. “Are you alright?”

The girl laughed ruefully. “I’m fine. I’m exhausted and I need a smoke, but I need to make minimum before I can tap out for the night.” She stood and stretched, scanning the room before resting back on Lux. “I’m Holly.” She did not look like a Holly, but then, none of the workers looked like their names. “It’s nice to meet you, Lux.”

“You too. Be safe.” Lux tracked Holly as she sauntered between the tables, an all-too-familiar tightness pulling at her chest.

_Huh._

* * *

Each night Lux worked at the Gargoyle, she made a point to say hello to Holly when she came in. Each night between clients, Holly made a point to stop by Lux’s corner as she played. At first it was merely to gossip, the two girls giggling like schoolchildren at Holly’s outlandish stories. Soon, however, the topics shifted to music, poetry, history, and anything else that struck their fancy as they talked. Holly was clever and funny, though her attention occasionally wandered, and as her between-client breaks became longer and longer, Lux quickly realised she was quite taken by the dark-haired girl.

“ _Holly!_ ”

Holly winced and looked up at Bess, who cleared her throat and jerked a thumb over her shoulder. She hung her head sheepishly, throwing an apologetic glance back at Lux as she stood and slid past the older woman and into the press of people.

Bess lifted a perfectly arched brow at the Tiefling. “You know I love ya, sweet thing, but if you keep distracting my girl I’m gonna have to start charging you.” Despite her admonition, she smiled. “I see the way you look at her. Don’t be embarrassed, darlin’; I read people for a living. I need her working, but once she’s done for the night, she’s all yours.” Her lips thinned into a smirk. “Just be gentle; I’ll still need her tomorrow.”

For once at a loss for clever comebacks, Lux merely nodded, her cheeks darkening. Bess winked as she turned away.

* * *

The knock on the door was faint, but Lux had been waiting for it, and she leapt from the bed to answer. “Hey you. Come in.”

Still dressed in her work attire – chemise and corset down to there, skirt slitted up to there – Holly grinned as she stepped inside. “So this is what these rooms look like without all the mood lighting and pillows and extra fabric on the walls.”

Lux huffed a soft laugh. “Pretty standard tavern fare, once you take out the decorations.” She watched Holly explore the little room, her heart thudding in her chest; when the Human returned to her side, her carefully planned words caught in her throat. “Hey, Holly… I, uh–” Before she could stumble further, Holly cut her off with a long, gentle kiss, parting the Tiefling’s lips with hers and drawing her deeper before finally pulling away. “…Yeah. That.”

“I’ve wanted to do that for weeks.” Holly’s voice was barely more than a whisper, her breath warm against Lux’s neck as she snaked her arms around the Tiefling’s waist. “Is this okay?”

“This is very, very okay.”

For a few moments, they stood in comfortable silence. Then: “I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“What?” Lux blinked.

With a sigh, Holly released her hold. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t find a smooth transition. I just… Sex is a job to me. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just an activity. It’s not special. You’re… I don’t know what you are, but you’re special.” She pursed her lips, peering at Lux with self-conscious concern. “I know that’s backwards to most people, but that’s what I want. Is… Is that okay?”

Lux smiled. “Yeah. That’s okay.” She paused as a thought occurred. “Is it alright if I seek it elsewhere if I find I need it? Not here,” she clarified quickly. “But it’s an itch that needs scratching sometimes.”

“It’d be a little hypocritical of me if I said no,” Holly answered with an easy laugh. “Of course it’s alright.” Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, she took Lux’s hand in hers, tugging at her to follow. “Do you mind if I smoke?”

“Go ahead.” Lux saw Holly produce a long, thin metal pipe from the folds of her skirt and suddenly remembered her own cigarettes. She took one from its cedar box as she sat, offering Holly her tinderbox before using it herself. When the smoke from Holly’s pipe reached her, she frowned in surprise. “Is that opium?”

“Mhm.” Holly exhaled another lungful with a satisfied sigh. “So, I _have_ to tell you what happened with my last client…”

* * *

“My name’s not actually Holly,” she said one night, lying in bed when all the clients had gone.

“I can’t say I’m surprised.” Lux quirked a smile. “My name’s not Lux, either.”

Holly blinked. “Really? What’s your name, then?”

“Aviva.”

“Hi, Aviva. I’m Priya.”

“Hi, Priya. You’re beautiful.”

* * *

“Why do you play in brothels?”

Aviva shrugged, lifting her hand to brush a stray lock of hair from Priya’s cheek. “People are nicer in brothels, I’ve found. Well, the clients are the same everywhere, but Bess doesn’t treat me like a freak. Nobody makes warding signs or tells me I’m an abomination. If anything, they think I’m mysterious and intriguing. I feel safer here than I do most places.” She smiled, finding Priya’s hand on her belly and lacing their fingers together. “Why do you work in brothels?”

Priya shrugged in turn. “Best way out of a bad home. I have a skill and something to sell, and this is where people come to buy. Bess is by far a better mother to me than my own, and I keep half of what I earn, so I plan to save up and get out eventually.” She freed her hand, gesturing broadly from her place curled at Aviva’s side. “I want to go to the Academy someday. Get a proper education, you know? I want to study ornithology.”

“Birds? Why birds?”

“I’ve always been fascinated by them. How they move, how they fly. Did you know they have hollow bones? That’s how they can get themselves up in the air. Feathers and hollow bones.” She pondered for a moment. “I wonder if dragons have hollow bones.”

“If I ever meet one, I’ll ask them,” Aviva teased. “What’s your favourite bird?”

“Cranes,” Priya answered dreamily, shifting in Aviva’s arms to gaze up at the ceiling. “They’re so long and thin they almost don’t look real, but they have this great gorgeous wingspan that seems to go on forever.” She pushed herself up to regard the Tiefling, her brown eyes glittering in the moonlight streaming in from the open window. “Do you have a favourite bird?”

“Peacocks. The fanciest of birds.” Aviva grinned as Priya giggled, then she yawned. “Ready to sleep?”

Priya nodded. “I’m just going to have a smoke first.” Leaving a light kiss on Aviva’s lips, she rose from the bed to find her pipe.

Aviva frowned. “That’s a lot for one night. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“It’s fine.” Priya waved off the concern as she inhaled. “I’m fine.” She offered a reassuring smile, the smoke seeping from between her lips. “I’ll be there soon.”

* * *

“I do have one question.”

Priya looked up, hairbrush hovering. “Anything.”

“Why Holly?”

“It was easy to remember.”

“How so?”

“Mnemonic device.” Priya grinned. “I needed something catchy so I wouldn’t forget. So, I just called myself Holly the Hooker and it stuck!”

Aviva tried to maintain her composure, but soon dissolved into a fit of laughter. Priya set the brush on the bedstand, beginning to laugh herself, and kissed her.

* * *

Aviva slipped into the water with an almost audible groan. She could not remember the last time she’d had a hot bath, much less a private, indoor hot bath. She would have to thank Bess again when they got out, if they ever got out.

“Hey beautiful.” Leaving her robe on a peg, Priya stepped over the rim of the round wooden tub. Her ribs seemed more pronounced than they had the night before, but perhaps it was the light. She let out a deep sigh. “Ohh, yes. I could live here. Absolutely.”

“I don’t think that’s recommended, unless you’re suddenly a duck-type bird. You’ll get all pruney.” Aviva retrieved the soap from the ledge beyond the bath and worked it into a lather in her palms. “C’mere.”

With a coy, half-lidded smile, Priya did as she was told, slipping her arms around Aviva’s waist as the Tiefling massaged the soap into her hair. “Mmm, yes. You’re hired. I’d like this every day, please.”

“I’ll have to ask Bess about that one. But I’ll see what I can do.” Easing Priya’s head back, Aviva ran her fingers through her hair, watching the bubbles spread across the surface of the water. “There we go.”

Lifting her head, Priya kissed her, softly at first, then more insistent. Surprised but never displeased, Aviva opened to her, melting happily into her embrace. One arm remained tight about the Tiefling’s middle, but the other hand soon began to wander, travelling from her back to her stomach and suddenly down–

Aviva broke the kiss with a start, catching Priya’s wrist beneath the water. “Whoa. Hey. If something’s changed, that’s a conversation.”

Priya blinked, taking slightly too long to focus, then broke into a giggle. “Whoops! I thought you were a client for a second.”

“You thought…?” Releasing Priya’s wrist, Aviva took her face in both hands, squinting as she examined her eyes. “Priya… Are you high?”

A shrug. “A little. I’m fine.” A pretty pout. “What’s wrong, anyway? I thought you liked sex. I know all about how to please a woman, I could do that for you–”

“No.” Aviva unhooked Priya’s arm from her waist, backing away from her through the water. “I don’t want that. I’m not a client, I’ll never be a client. I don’t want Holly. I want you.” She rose hastily and stepped from the bath. “I’m going back to my room, okay?”

Priya nodded sluggishly, looking at nothing in particular, confusion playing on her face. “Okay.” She sounded distant, as if she had not truly heard anything Aviva had said.

“It’s time for bed. I’ll see you soon.” Pulling her robe tightly over her shoulders, Aviva left, bewildered and shaken and with an awful sense of foreboding in the pit of her stomach. She put it aside.

* * *

“You really shouldn’t smoke cigarettes, Aviva. Those things’ll kill you.”

* * *

As soon as she entered the Gargoyle, Lux could tell something was amiss. The air was different. Tense. After a moment, she realised why.

“Bess? Where’s Holly?”

Far from her usual vivacious self, Bess motioned her over. “She’s not working tonight,” she answered, her eyes fixed pointedly on the Tiefling’s. “She’s _sick_.”

Lux nodded in understanding, the colour draining from her cheeks. “Where is she?”

“Knew you’d be on tonight, so we put her in your room to rest.” Bess’s voice dropped. “Kasjan can cover you for awhile.” She canted her head toward a Half-Elf boy, already prepared with a lute. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, Lux. If she doesn’t improve soon, I don’t think management will let me keep her on the books. And she won’t survive on the streets.”

“Okay.” Lux swallowed hard. “I’ll see what I can do. …And, thank you.” Bess took her hand and squeezed it, then shooed her away.

The curtains were drawn, the only light coming from a single, guttering candle on the nightstand. The figure under the blanket looked so, so small. Lux trod lightly, setting a bowl of soup from the kitchen next to the candle and sinking onto the edge of the bed. “Hey little bird.”

For a few excruciating seconds, Priya didn’t move. Then she groaned softly and opened her eyes just enough to see the Tiefling. “Aviva,” she breathed, a dopey smile spreading across her face. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

“Can you sit up for me, Priya?” Aviva pleaded, keeping her voice low. “You look like you haven’t eaten in days. Come on, up.” She rolled Priya onto her back and hooked her hands beneath her arms; Aviva was not strong, but Priya weighed next to nothing. “Up, up, up.”

Priya batted feebly at Aviva’s forearms with another groan, but she allowed herself to be pulled into a sitting position, still fixing the Tiefling with heavy-eyed adoration. “I’m fine, V. Just sleepy.”

“No, you’re not. You’re fucked up on opium and you need to cut it out. You’re getting worse every day. Bess said if you can’t work, she’s not sure how long you can stay.” Desperately, Aviva took both Priya’s hands in hers. “Please, Priya. Please. You have to stop. For me or for your job or for whatever moves you, but _please_ , stop.”

Fighting to keep her eyes focused, Priya’s sleepy smile broadened. “I love you.”

Aviva recoiled as if she had been slapped, jerking her hands into the safety of her lap. That was not what she had expected to hear. She forced her words through the sudden tightness in her throat. “No, you don’t. You’re just saying that because you’re high.” She took a shuddering breath, her voice steeling. “Tell me when you’re sober and maybe I’ll believe it.” Standing abruptly, she turned away from the bed. “Eat your soup before it gets cold.”

A mumbled protest followed her to the door, but she did not look back. Closing it carefully behind her, she sank against the wood, pressing both hands over her mouth as one single, knife-sharp sob escaped into the empty hallway. Forcing herself to breathe deeply, she tamped down on her emotions, numbing her heart for awhile. She was here to be paid; she had work to do. She would check on Priya at the end of the night, crawl into the bed and hold her until morning.

Then what?

* * *

“I got rid of my pipe.”

Lux eyed her from her chair, the music floating from her strings without much concentration. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Holly replied, defensive, her shoulders sinking as she realised the reaction was probably deserved. “You were right; I need to get clean. So, starting now, I am. No more pipe, no more drug. That’s it.”

With a slow nod, Lux met her gaze. “Okay.” She was not entirely convinced, but she was willing to take it on faith. There was little more to say on the subject. “Clients lining up?”

Holly huffed. “Yeah. I’ve got two ladies waiting at the back table. Time to go upstairs.” She ducked her head to kiss Lux’s cheek, began to make her way toward the bar, then paused. “I meant it, you know. What I said the other night. I do love you.”

Lux opened her mouth, closed it again. The silence lingered. “Okay.”

The ghost of something like sadness flitted across Holly’s features. Then her mask was on and she disappeared into the crowded tavern.

* * *

Three days later, Priya was dead.

* * *

Lux could not clearly remember most of the night it happened; only flashes remained. Bess’s ashen face. Her arms, squeezing tightly. The feeling of breathlessness, of a coldness gripping her heart. Kasjan weeping. The sudden buckling of her legs. Her hands shaking so badly she couldn’t light her smoke. Something about an accident. Something about an overdose.

A bottle of laudanum. A drink. Not a pipe.

She remembered rage. Pure, helpless rage that filled every corner of her, twisting her insides, clouding her mind. Rage and fear and choking, keening grief. Then it ebbed away, leaving only an exhausted void. Somehow, that was better.

Pooling their resources, Lux and the workers bought a proper headstone and a spot in the cemetery outside the city, rather than consigning her to the potter’s field. Only Lux knew her full name. They held no formal service.

Lux prayed. She hoped the goddess was listening.

* * *

“Hey little bird.

“Look at me, I’m talking to a carved rock. What kind of storybook shit is this? You’d laugh if you saw me, I’m sure. This is something straight out of one of your romance tales. At least it’s not snowing; that would just complete it.

“…The tree above you just showered me with petals. Now you’re just being vindictive.

“I tracked down your mum today. I can see why you left. I didn’t tell her anything; I wasn’t sure you’d want me to. But if you think she should know, I can do that. Just… Let me know, or something.

“I saw a family of cranes this morning, out by the piers. They don’t usually come that close to people, but maybe they were trying a new fishing spot. There were at least six of them! Two big ones, I assume the parents, and four smaller ones. They were gone by the time I got all the way down, but I saw them flying away. …Hollow bones.”

“Fuck. Just… Fuck. I miss you, Priya. Your smile, your laugh. It’s funny; we rarely saw each other outside of the Gargoyle, but I keep expecting to run into you on the street or at the market or on the docks. You should be here. But you’re not.

“I… I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before. I’m so sorry–

“…Anyway, Bess says hi. I haven’t taken any jobs at the Gargoyle, but I went to visit her. I can’t bring myself to be in there for too long, not even the bar. It’s too close to… You know.

“It’s a pretty day today. Warm and cloudy, but not too cloudy. It’s good music weather. I haven’t written anything lately, but I have some ideas now. Your song is starting to come together. It’s taken longer than I thought, but the ideas are finally flowing. I’ll come back when it’s finished, and I’ll play it for you, I promise. I think you’ll like it.

“Happy birthday, little bird. Here’s to twenty-two.”

* * *

“What’ve we got this year, kid?”

Lux opened her book to a rough drawing and passed it to Mae. “A crane.”

The older Tiefling nodded, tracing the charcoal lines lightly with a finger. “Beautiful birds. Shouldn’t take more than a couple hours or so. What’s it for?”

“Someone I knew.”

“Someone special?”

“Someone who died.”

Mae shook her head incredulously, a sad smile playing at her lips. “Gods, kid. How old are you? Twenty-one? And you’ve already experienced so much loss. Will your life ever stop being a tragedy?”

Lux offered a thin smirk. “I heal, I move on. I keep flying. Maybe I have hollow bones.”

_And a hollow heart._

**Author's Note:**

> Title song by Jimi Hendrix.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at @expressandadmirable for a proper table of contents for the Heroes campaign, commissioned character art, text-based roleplay snippets and more!


End file.
